Hajj pilgrimage ruined by GODZILLA invasion

The sacred pilgrimage of Hajj to the sacred city of Mecca is something that practising Muslims aspire to do in the effort to truly be one with Allah. It is considered the ultimate privilege of self sacrifice to show your faith. Regularly housing thousands of Muslims from around the world Mecca is used to the sheer numbers within its walls.

However two monsters have severely affected the tradition this year in what has been a series of unfortunate events for the world’s population.

COVID-19 is the gift that keeps on giving… or taking away… As a result just over a thousand attendees made it this year to the Kaaba for the rites of Hajj. This is due to social distancing restrictions and of course a severe cut to the number of international flights allowed. This has meant that many who would normally travel have had to remain at home and forgo this passage.

However the second monster that ruined the celebration was Japanese monster of the sea – GODZILLA!

Questions remain as to whether Godzilla is Muslim or not

Those who were lucky enough to attend were only an hour into the ceremony before the legendary giant reptile came over the hill to start interfering with the proceedings. Da Fake News spoke to one of the witnesses, Sayeed Al-Farrah Mamoukh who gave this first person account:

“It was terrifying. I was deep in ritualistic meditation when all of a sudden my mate Bupchuk got squished by a giant scaly foot. I thought ‘Fuck me!’ and started to run out of the way and to see what was going on. I hid behind an old man in a wheelchair who was stuck in the sand and saw this fire breathing dragony thing that looked a bit like Barney the dinosaur. It was dribbling and was eyeing up the gift shop behind me. I was scared shitless.”

Barney was once a kind spirited favourite of young children

The event was called off as the Saudi army were called in to dispatch the creature, though no further updates have been received. We can only wish them the best against this Japanese, for breathing, dancing, purple and scaled dragon dinosaur thingy.

Posted by Gideon Shankly-Norman

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