Premier League clubs finally come to agreement

The COVID-19 pandemic has created many casualties in its furious wake, all from far reaching areas of life. Social distancing has created a lonely world where loved ones are separated and ‘regular’ society has all but nearly ceased.

One of the main areas that has taken a hit due to the virus is the world of entertainment, and in particular sports. It’s a crisis that has seen various sports bodies appealing to the Government for additional funding to simply remain solvent. It has worked so far for some but other sports that do not have the large viewership that football and rugby garners are possibly facing extinction.

Yet despite this tragedy attention remains firmly on the most watched competition in the world – The Premier League. Fixtures were placed on hiatus ever since social distancing was introduced and all was placed in limbo. Initially dates were presented to the public as ‘potential’ restarting points but each date came and went.

However today a final announcement was made by Premier League Chief Executive Richard Masters that a final agreement has been made regarding the remaining fixtures – and the outcome will surprise many.

Debate had been made between clubs and the FA about three possible scenarios: play the remaining fixtures, void the season or simply finish it with the teams in the current positions.

They went with the fourth option.

Instead in June the league will be decided by what can only be best described as a grown up version of Sports Day. This oddball suggestion goes against the idea that football should be the solution, however 18 clubs supported the notion with only Everton and Burnley opposing. With a majority reached the date has been set as June 12th in which representatives from all 20 clubs will meet at the St. Mary’s Primary School playground in Aldworth, Berkshire.

Raheem Stirling could well be featuring in a scene like this

In addition to the announcement, Richard Masters went on to describe how this plan would operate.

“We realised that the best way to settle this is to go back to our roots, and we all remember Sports Day from school. Therefore on June 12th all twenty clubs will put forward two players to take part in a variety of events reminiscent of those days. These events include:

  • 40m dash
  • Egg and spoon race
  • Bean bag race
  • Obstacle course
  • Three legged race (social distancing dependant)
  • Bean bag throw
  • Hula hoops
  • Long jump

We will have a team of independent adjudicators to ensure accurate times and measurements are made, and at the end of the day we will have cookies and orange juice followed by the final results being displayed on a large white board.

We understand that this might be unconventional but in the spirt of grass roots we feel this is best. Parents are allowed but they must also follow the Government’s advice on the two metre rule.”

We were awaiting a follow up post to say that this was all a joke but it never came. So alas we await to see what representatives are presented from each club and we hope that no injuries are sustained in the hula hoop event.

Posted by Harry Po-Singh

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